CHAPTER 08

Being a perfectionist can be tiring, exhausting even but what’s funny is, most of us don’t even realise it because we’re too busy trying to do everything perfectly.

The day would start with a 10-minute staring competition with the ceiling, thinking about the long list of things that needs to be done. This follows with cross-checking whether all tasks in a very specific mental list can indeed be completed within the day or whether something has to be pushed to the next day. But of course, this list was prepared the night before.

With a mental to do list that keeps growing as the day progresses, constant revisions with every new task that comes up or crossing off a task once done with it, now completing a task does feel great but…only for a moment.

Of course, being a perfectionist means that nothing ever feels truly completed. It means re-reading a piece of writing again and again, fixing the small mistakes that no one else will notice. It means rewriting sentences because they just don’t hit right. It means adding the tiniest of details just because they stand out to you.

It feels like having five mental tabs open at the same time, along with it the buzzing pressure to meet the deadlines that you have set for yourself. And even after finishing everything there might be a voice questioning, “Was that really the best I could do?” or “Is this good enough?”

Perhaps all that we need is something as simple as a break, to remind ourselves that effort matters a lot more than being perfect. That some things along with their small flaws is still good enough.

But even after telling ourselves this before falling asleep, we still make small changes to tomorrow’s to do list. We think about that one more thing to fix. We replay conversations in our head, wondering if we could have done just a little bit more.

Despite the self-monologue on accepting things as they are and some things don’t have to be perfect, we still strive for perfection anyway.

We constantly judge ourselves on higher standards than what others notice, so what looks incomplete to us might actually look perfect to others. Maybe the solution isn’t to stop being a perfectionist completely, maybe it’s about reminding ourselves that effort matters a lot more than perfection. About accepting that making mistakes is normal and it makes us human.

Penned By:

Rtr. Shamla Bishirhafi

Editorial Committee Member 25.26